Blunt Self-Reflection

The sower sows the word.  And these are the ones along the path, where the word is sown: when they hear, Satan immediately comes and takes away the word that is sown in them.  And these are the ones sown on rocky ground: the ones who, when they hear the word, immediately receive it with joy.  And they have no root in themselves, but endure for a while; then, when tribulation or persecution arises on account of the word, immediately they fall away.  And others are the ones sown among thorns.  They are those who hear the word, but the cares of the world and the deceitfulness of riches and the desires for other things enter in and choke the word, and it proves unfruitful.  But those that were sown on the good soil are the ones who hear the word and accept it and bear fruit, thrityfold and sixtyfold and a hundredfold.  - Mark 4:14-20

I think members of the Church today have a growing problem - the lack of blunt and honest self-reflection.  How many of us whole-life-churchgoers (myself included) read the Parable of the Sowers, assume we are the good soil, and move on? 

Yes, it is very true that I have grown tremendously throughout my 4 years in college.  It is because of that growth, however, that I realize that my soil definitely has thorns in it.  As Francis Chan says in his book, Crazy Love, "When we want God and a bunch of other stuff, then that means we have thorns in our soil...[A]re you choking [God's kingdom in your life] out slowly by spending too much time, energy, money, and thought on the things of this world?"

How often do I let other things take priority and get in the way of my relationship with God?  Whether it be this new thing that I really really want to buy, or tv shows that I'm obsessed with and spend hours watching, singing and recording songs for hours (Christian songs, as a matter of fact), or even building relationships with other people, there are countless things that are good on their own, but can become big idols in my life.

Something I've had to realize is that Christian things do not equal God.  Let's take Christian music, for example.  Let's say, hypothetically, that I owned every Avalon song in existence, memorized all the lyrics, listened to each song at least 200 times through, and have gone to every concert within a 100 mile radius (not as much of an exaggeration as I would like).  Avalon's music is great.  They have inspired me with their songs and I would not be able to harmonize or sing like I do now if it weren't for them.  And the lyrics have definitely encouraged me over the years and have drawn me closer to the Lord.  Yet, it's possible to live and breathe Avalon rather than living and breathing God.  In other words, Christian music is an invaluable supplement to my relationship with God, but it better not be the center of it.     

The same can be said of fellowship.  We can completely fill our daily schedules with fellowship activities, serving and having good community with the Body.  But even this can be an idol (which is defined as anything that replaces God), if we're not careful. 

The Lord says:  "These people come near to me with their mouth and honor me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me.  Their worship is made up only of rules taught by men." - Isaiah 29:13

In our service to the Lord and in enjoying community, we must remember the reason and purpose behind all of it - to bring Him all the glory and honor and praise. 

So, the struggle with idolatry in my life has shown me that I'm dealing with thorny soil.  Closely related to that is being lukewarm.  As Francis Chan says, in our comfortable American lifestyles, often getting whatever we want, our concern in our relationship with God is more about going to heaven than loving the King.  I've had to examine myself...am I really in this because I love Jesus and want to follow Him?  Or am I just looking for a ticket out of hell? 

Crazy Love argues that thorny soil is not legit - i.e., people who are characterized as thorny soil will not enter heaven. It makes sense...there is no gray area in Christianity.  You are all in or you are out.  Well, that doesn't sound very good for us, does it?  Considering how most Christians (especially in America) deal with thorny soil?  Our hope, of course, lies with the cross of Christ.  It was there that he fulfilled the law and conquered our sin.  We are now free from the chains of legalism and sin.  What differentiates phony and real Christians, I believe, is that the real Christians are fighting the good fight.  They are constantly striving to put to death the idols in their lives and to remove the thorns that plague their relationship with God.  Empowered by the Holy Spirit, real Christians experience victory over the world and are more than conquerors.

I've had doubts about my salvation before.  So I read this book called How Can I Be Sure I'm a Christian?  I'm really thankful to God for that book, because now, I am 100% sure that I'm a Christian, and I don't think I will ever again be plagued by the lies of the enemy that say otherwise.  That being said, though, I still feel compelled to constantly examine myself.  Remember, it's about loving the King and giving every part of our lives to Him, and not just about doing enough to get to heaven.  

I really feel like kids in church should stop singing songs like "I am a C-H-R-I-S-T-I-A-N" and "Father Abraham" ("Father Abraham had many sons...I am one of them, and so are you...").  As fun as they may be, they perpetuate the notion that going to church and playing along with whatever they're telling you = being a Christian.  They do more harm to the kids than good.  With this mindset, that as churchgoers and "good kids" they are Christians, they grow up without feeling any burden to examine themselves.  I believe that's a big part of what kept me from self-examination for the longest time. 

It's time that we stop examining ourselves with self-portraits - pre-conceived ideas of what we are like - and start examining ourselves with mirrors.