Safe in His Arms

After the Christian Legal Society conference this weekend, I was feeling great. I met some great people there, I heard inspirational talks from authors and Anne Graham Lotz (Billy Graham's daughter), and was refreshed. On top of that, I got to go to church with Ann/Joanna and have a delicious dim sum lunch with them and Ann's bf Andrew in Chinatown. All that changed, however, once Ann randomly asked me where I parked my car, and I told her that I parked it in front of her church (as opposed to the parking lot in the back), AND happened to leave my backpack in the front seat. Ann and Joanna's faces turned all stern and worried, and I was like ohhh crap seriously? What kind of person would break into a car in broad daylight on a Sunday morning in front of a church? Apparently it's very common in Chicago.

Sure enough, we drive back to my car after lunch, and at first glance it looks fine, but then we drive up more, and the front passenger window is completely shattered and my backpack is gone. At this point, I'm in full freak out mode. Not only were my laptop and camera in there (worth almost $1k together), but ALL of my law school notes from the semester are in there too.

It's one thing to read about burglaries in my law books, or to worry about them possibly happening. It's another thing to be an actual victim of one. Before this incident, I don't think I've ever actually been a direct victim of any kind of crime. And so my security bubble was officially popped. I felt violated, vulnerable, and for perhaps the first time in my life, genuinely unsafe. It's hard to explain, but seeing shattered glass all over my opened glove box and scattered possessions was appalling. I was in disbelief realizing the injustice and evil that just took place. Yet, even in this completely vulnerable moment (or perhaps, especially in this vulnerable moment), my Heavenly Father showed me in so many ways that He loves me, that He provides for all of my needs, and that He holds me safe in His arms.

1) My GPS was still in my car, in the middle compartment. I guess the burglars didn't have enough time to look everywhere in the car before they would've gotten caught, so all they did was break the glass, nab the backpack, and quickly rummage through the glove box. Without the GPS, I would be lost (literally). Common known fact: my directions suck. Especially out of state.

2) Wonderful brothers and sisters in Christ. The Body of Christ in action. I'm so grateful for Christian love shining through in my brothers and sisters. I know Joanna had a bunch of work and stuff to do for med school, yet she stayed with me for so long and helped me figure stuff out. Ann and Andrew waited with me in the waiting room until my window was fixed and were both super helpful throughout the whole thing. A lot of friends texted me back with their encouragement and concern. Pastor Kensen paid for my window repair, and while walking through the alley with the building engineer, found....

3) My law school notes!!! He walked into the car repair shop and started pulling out my folders, and my heart felt ten thousand pounds lighter. I couldn't help but utter out things like "PRAISE JESUS!!! THANK YOU GOD!!!" etc etc. Honestly, these were the most important things to me in that bag. My whole semester's worth of notes in law school. Rachael graciously offered to share her notes with me, but yeah, of course it's still hard to replace your own notes and understanding of everything you've learned. Thank You God for making me old school, writing notes on paper while 90% of the class types them up on the computer.

During the sermon that morning, Pastor Kensen talked about the Israelites rejecting and despising the manna that God gave them in the wilderness. Not only were they rejecting bread - it was much more than that. The manna was the sign from God that He was their Provider and their Heavenly Father. And here they were saying, "We don't want your Providence, God - we hate it. Your best isn't good enough." How many times have I done the same? Not appreciating all that God has blessed me with. Taking these blessings for granted. I could dwell on the lost laptop, camera, conference book, conference notes, and backpack, and wonder why God didn't keep those things from getting taken. Or, I could look at His great faithfulness and provision. How He kept me safe, provided a way for me to get home with a new window, and provide me with the support of my brothers and sisters. I'm going to choose the latter.

How can I possibly learn to fully trust in God when everything always goes smoothly? How can I really say "I will fear no evil, for my God is with me" when I'm always safe and sheltered? It's these times that force me to look to my Savior and say that "when everything is falling apart, I will be safe in Your arms."